| Saturday, October 29, 2005 |
|
i've been feeling this sense of exhaustion and fatigue for over 2 months already. i guess it all about taking too much at one time. at this point, i'm already so bloody booked up for november. if it isn't planning for another club outing, its planning for another charity event. if i ain't waking up at 6am to go to work, its waking up at 6am to go for a meeting. its been one hectic hectic semester. 2 jobs, 5 classes and 2 clubs.. i'm just tired and drained.
i managed to get into Disney so i'll be moving to florida for 8 months. yay yay yay. but getting all the paperwork in place is a real pain. i have to go see an academic advisor and a career service advisor twice this upcoming month. i had to go see the scholarship's dean to go check on my scholarship status if i move and i had to go see my housing agent to talk about whats going to happen to my house. i didn't think that movin to florida would be such a pain but i guess it's going to be worth it, or at least, i'm keeping my fingers crossed. the whole hurricane situation and my whole experiences with working here has been kinda disheartening but i'm just praying it'll all work out.
planned two events over the past month. had to gather volunteers for this golf tournament and organized a submarine tour for the travel industry faculty. it was quite a load for one person, but i'm glad it went well. many sleepless nights spent though and i was a grouchy girl for a whole month. we're planning 3 events for november. the Halloween hoop-la festival, a hotel tour, a snorkell cruise and a charity event as well. oh wait.. thats 4 events and all that in november. i almost died doing 2 in october and it's doubled to 4 in november. not to forget, i still have school to attend. all my exams, presentations and papers are due in november as well.
but i guess the worse part of all this is the work. working at atlantis is definately the hardest of them all. i don't like it there. and every time i go to work, its a constant mind battle. getting up so early, praying that i won't be late and hoping that maybe just today, they might be fair and that there wouldn't be any drama. i hate politics and i hate favouritism. and its darn hard when none of it is at your advantage. for example, i was supposed to get promoted a month ago, but somehow, they guessed that i was going to leave anyway so they decided to keep me at where i am, as a loader, till i graduate. normally, the average person has to be a loader for 9 weeks and then they move up to something else. i've been loading since august the 8th, so do the math. they figured that since i have to work anyways to get credits for school, i would probably have to suck it up regardless of how they treat me. so i'm stuck here. little do they know that i've dropped one class, which is one internship credit, so i don't have to work 400 hours anymore, i only have to do 200 hours. so i am free to leave anytime. but i'm seriusly trying my very best to tough it out cause i want that extra cash and i want to be able to feel like i really did sccomplish something. but that place is really fucked up. its worse than mrs fields. like today, i was a minute late. one fucking minute and they told me that that was my 2nd time being late( ever since i started working there) and that the next time i was late, i was going to get suspended. hmmm okay, i understand the whole policy about being late, but man.. one minute man! come on... they even highlighted my time card in green.. hmmm. and it was a bad day at work today and i almost got into an arguement with one of the people working at the office. i was out loading ( picking up people from the hotels) and this girl was giving me instructions. somehow, i think there was some miscommunication and it got all mixed up. and when i got there, she started yelling at me! in front of all the customers, in front of my manager, in front of everyone, telling me i fucked up when i didn't and i was just stunned. pissed but i kept quiet. and my manager, the same one who fucked me for being a minute late, kept quiet all this time. because the girl who was yelling at me happened to be her gf.. dang.. okay!
my parents fly in tomorrow and my dad suddenly msged me a few days ago to tell me that he wants to meet my boyfriend. i told him that my bf wasn't asian and he was like okay, fine with me, just don't tell mommy. he sounded all nice and everything but i haven't heard from him ever since. my brother tells me not to worry cause my dad's trying to be nice and he wants to reconcile with me but at the same time, i'm nervous. and thomas is all psyed up for it. i hope he comes through and i'm just praying that my dad wouldn't judge him within the first 5 seconds. he;s really a nice boy. he looks tough and bo chup on the outside and to the world, he holds on to this hard nonchalent type of person but in reality, he's really a softie. like a soft melted chocolate cookie, the kind that melts in your mouth. he's really really sincere and a big sweetheard, so i'm really hoping that my dad will approve. because i really don't have a plan B if my dad forces me to leave him and i highly doubt that i will leave him anyways, so maybe if my dad hates him and all that, i'll elope. hahahaha..
and speaking of thomas, he's been amazing throughout my whole ordeal. he's been fantastic actually. when i had my golf tournament and i couldn't find rides for all my volunteers, he picked 2 shifts up and sent them home too. when i had to stand in the rain during the atlantis submarine tour, he was there with me too. standing in the rain, upset that it was fucking up his shoes but nevertheless, he was there. and i believe that if it wasn't for him and his support for this whole time, i would have died out. i mean, i'm dying out but at least he's hangin me on by this thin thread. so my relationship's good. doing very well in fact. and it seems like its the only stable part of my life i can lean on right now. i just hope that i'll be able to translate all that to my dad without him freaking out.
nat |
| posted by 3 @ 3:22 PM |
|
|
|
| Tuesday, October 25, 2005 |
|
yesterday night marked the end of another season of antm. sorry kahlen lovers, she's a real sweetie pie and all, but you gotta admit it. NAIMA OWNED IT.
By the way. before i forget. SHADDUP NAT. i know you're already into season 5 or something. haha
k.o. was so upset over naima's win that he was still muttering, "naima sucks" till the late hours of the evening today.
what i remember clearly from the episode last night was kahlen's remark about her being overwhelmed by all the adrenaline from the walk and it sorta struck a chord because while the stuff that we've done hardly even come close to walking on a water runway in africa, the adrenaline rush is ammaaazing when you're on stage. its just you, the clothes, and the lights. and in 5 mins. boom. its over. and i'll still be grinning from ear to ear. amaaazing.
and nat, i'm sorry i didnt' devote 100% to our conversation today, but i was busy haha anyway i hope things work out, and i think they will. and tell thomas i'm very excited to meet him haha
~mei~ |
| posted by 3 @ 10:39 PM |
|
|
|
| Monday, October 24, 2005 |
|
i have a stye in my eye. it hurts. this is the result of laughing at eli for all her very funny symptons she had on her eyes and fingers..
i feel very pat jiao.
nat |
| posted by 3 @ 3:33 PM |
|
|
|
| Friday, October 21, 2005 |
|
nat claims that we're losing readership and that i should blog. but i have nothing to blog about. nat is the one who's hearing gun shots in the middle of the night and witnessing scenes right out of COPS.
All i have is to complain about lost chances. not that i was fantastically excited about being in an sdu ad but i was fantastically excited about the $250. not that i was estatic about spending an entire weekend playing computer games at expo, but i was estatic about the $10 per hour pay. and oh well let's not even venture near the spoilt tuition kid shall we?
oh dear. my bad karma must be coming back. shoo shoo go away.
at least i'm semi looking forward to the show tomorrow night. although we're not getting paid. it is nice to see everyone again, hang out backstage, do stupid things like play pepsi cola to kill boredom. but we're not getting paid. and i have $29.70 in my bank. im very sad about that because december is coming soon and i will have no money to eat or watch movies or go to kl. if we set up a pay pal account here or whateverthosethingsarecalled, will you guys donate money to us? please? haha i heard cyber begging works! nat needs money to umm.. ship a big black object home for christmas, eli needs money umm. she needs money. i need money to eat. ha ha.
~mei~ |
| posted by 3 @ 12:56 AM |
|
|
|
| Sunday, October 16, 2005 |
|
classy and clean. hope u like it.
and yes i did distort the picture on purpose. had to resize it so that it'll fit that little box there and the picture does make me loook skinner. heehee
nat |
| posted by 3 @ 5:09 PM |
|
|
|
| Monday, October 10, 2005 |
|
Dear Almighty One,
My Walt Disney interview's tomorrow. Actually, its 6 hours away. Please please pleaseeeeeeeeeee let it be a success. I have been a good girl for the whole year. I did very little drugs, I drank very very little, I hardly smoked and I never touched another boy. I've been studying very hard and I've been listening to my parents. I prayed religiously everynight for my family and my grandmother, for my friends, for thomas, for our relationship, for his family, for my late auntie, uncle, a little person and alfian. I've been very very good. I promise I have. Please let me have a successful interview tomorrow. Pleasee pleassee pleasseee. Cause if I do get it, I'll be a very happy girl. All my friends who live on the East Coast will be very happy and most importantly, thomas and his family will be very very happy. I want to work for Walt Disney, I want to travel back and forth from Orlando to Miami, I want to fly to Haiti to visit thomas's father and I want to drive up to New York to give Peishan a big fat hug. I promise I will be a better girl. I will stop eating candy if you would like me too. I will stop being mean to thomas and stop throwing my frying pan at him if it would please you. I will even force myself to talk to my mother on MSN every single day! PLLLLEEEEAAAASSSSSSSSSEEEEEEEE... It's one of the very few things in life I really really really want!!! Pleassssseeee... I know you're not Santa Claus but then again, pleaaaaassssseeeeeeee....
Yours Truly,
Ms Natalie Paul and Mr. Garcon Bernavil |
| posted by 3 @ 9:00 PM |
|
|
|
|
|
Last night, thomas and i went clubbing. 4 tequila shots and some hypnotic later, i was fucked up. maaan... its been soo long since i felt like that. actually, the only time i've been anywhere close, besides at home, was when i was in mexico on my tequila spree. but it felt good though. after such a long time, having a high from alcohol is such a forbidden pleasure. and i felt guiltless and carefree too cause thomas was there. and it was his first time, in 2 years, seeing me anywhere close to bring drunk. and my hands were free to roam anywhere i like and my butt was just going everywhere. it was quite explicit but i had alot of fun cause i like dancing with him and not some smelly boy.there were some boys who almost got into a fight with him, for no apparent reason but nothing happened.
Been msning with alot of people these days. and its such a nice feeling cause somehow,even though i've been in hawaii for more than 2 years now, its like i've experienced the ride of passage with some of these people. from army life to nus. from normal house to dorms. its kinda nice. and its things like these which makes me miss home. arun, as in the aa2 arun, changed his nickname to "natalie says she got a super jack pan tat.. what do you think?" .. please be nice and tell him you think so too. he seems to think that minahs have a nicer ass than i do. i am offended.
and for all those who chat with me on MSN, please be careful. thomas loves to impersonate as me and trick everyone. and he does an amazing job as well. he writes just like i do, every slang, every letter and if u try hard to picture me talking the way he writes, its exactly the same. so be careful. he usually starts this plot about how he, which is actually me, as cheated on him and needs advice. its ridiculous, i know. but people have been tricked. he even sounds like me on the phone. so many of my friends call and carry out 15 minute conversations with him and don't even know that its not me. he can even curse like me too. so please. be very careful! and don't reveal anything stupid as well! thank you...
nat |
| posted by 3 @ 9:33 PM |
|
|
|
| Saturday, October 08, 2005 |
|
I saw the LA Lakers players a few days ago. It was quite exhilarating. I had a very bad morning that day only to get cheered up by two very chee hong LA Lakers players. I don't know their names but I remembered standing there, in awe, totally star strucked. They are sooo tall. And after meeting them, I realized that its so possible to fall in love with an NBA player. Nevermind the fact that only the ugliest players on the team waved and smiled at me, it was just something about the boys in the yellow jerseys. I think its the money and too much MTV Cribs in my head but I was excited and I stood there, stuck onto the floor, not being able to say a word. However, I never got to see Kobe Bryant. I was waiting for him from the very beginning. 5 minutes after i left for work, he appeared. and when he came back, i was just leaving again. all i saw was his shadow in a van. tat's about it. i think he's cute and i would probably let him know that although i'm legal to have sex, he can rape me anytime.. heeheehee.
Thomas and I joined the gym across my house and we've been trying real hard to keep it up. A few days ago, we played racquetball. man. that muthafuckers a fucking hard game man. nevermind the stuffy room with too bright lights, its the running around for a tiny ass ball that bounces off everything that made me feel like fainting. i had tha mentality that i can wait for it to bounce off the wall behind me but when it did, it flew further away and i end up running even more eventually. so eventually, we improvized and changed all the rules. and within 1/2 hour, walking was permitted. then after that, came the cycling machine. i like the cycling machine. it's just sitting my fat butt on a small seat and moving my legs away. and then the swimming. for some reason, after my cross country season, i tend to stay away from running as much as possible. just thinking about it makes me tired. so i swim. so i swim laps and laps and thomas swims widths and widths. he swims like a dog and has no hand - leg coordination what so ever. and everytime i try to swim a lap, he starts cutting me, doing his retarded little mermaid immitation, popping his head up and down. he's a retard and i end up laughing and then nothing much gets done. last night, we spent so much time trying to do backflips. the type where you put one leg on the other person and at the count of 3, lift your heavy backslip and jump up and do a full backflip. it never works cause we spend so much time chocking ourselves.
ex girlfriends. i wonder why they are always so desperate and pushy and persistant and all the other ugly negative things. and it makes me wonder whether i would ever be this desperate when i'm single again. its kinda scary seeing how all his ex girlfriends become desperate and unwilling to dissapear out of his life. and it gets very tiring and old after awhile. the phone calls, the pictures and the delibrate letters. its so old. and everytime they pop up, i'll get upset and angry. because his ex girlsfriends weren't really ex girlfriends when i was with him and so it just brings back all this negative energy and memories. but i suddenly realize that there really isn't anything i can do to them. sure, i could pull out a lisa stun and call and scream at her and all that but she still keeps coming back. we can change his phone numbers countless times but they still manage to track him down, somehow. so how? just let it be. i have better things to worry about and to concentrate on. and i can't decide whether i should be happy about it. i'm happy cause i'm finally letting go of something that has been holding me down for soo damn bloody long but at the same time, bloody pissed off because it took me so damn bloody long to figure it out. after wasting all that time and energy getting mad over bullshit at least i'm finally making some progress with my life.
nat |
| posted by 3 @ 3:39 PM |
|
|
|
| Tuesday, October 04, 2005 |
|
Do u remember the secondary school days when pagers were the coolest form of communication? i remember i had the mtv pager, the clear see through kind and i carried it around as if i was the coolest convent girl around. haha.. and i remember spending such a long time every week, updating my music on my pager greeting. everytime i finally recorded a song, it was probably my 20th try before it got to sound the way it did. well, i thought about this today because my dad bought me a new phone a month ago and fed-ex it over. its the nokia i dunno what number series, ( i wanted the new 8800 or 8500 the nice dark silver one but my brother managed to convince my dad that i'm not worth that much) but i can record my own music greeting. thomas personalized his own greeting with him yelling into my phone, asking me to pick up my phone before he whoops my asian ass. i recorded a greeting a few weeks ago by slim thug and pharrell but out of the blue, i decided to re-record my greeting today. and there i was again. this secondary school girl. only this time, i'm flipping through my ipod looking for techno songs as my ringtone. i'm confused. i can't seem to make up my mind. sooo many but only one ringtone. and its not like i can personalize one song for every person cause only thomas calls me, so no point too. i'm thinking of 7 years and 50 days because it reminds me of eli. but then again, miracle and bad boy reminds me of eli too. then theres move for freedom and that reminds me ah long and eli. and crazy,sexy,marvellous reminds me of ivan and eli. mr vain reminds me of arun and eli and poison reminds me of jiamei and eli. blue makes me think of zhirong and eli and i realized that no techno song reminds me of mei. and i think she'll be happy knowing that. soo eli, since u bring out the ah lian in me, i've chosen poison! because i can see u singint to it. hahaha.. i know, i love u too.
thomas went for his citizenship interview today. and i was quite surprised because he did very well for his citizenship test. and in about a week or two, he'll have to go to court to get sworn in and become an american citizen. i think its exciting cause one week, he's haitian and the next, he'll be american. hmmmm...
his friends came over today and i cooked them a big meal. i like how ignorant american boys are to chinese food. i cooked a big meal with chicken and shrimp but for most parts, i used the packet sauces my parents shipped over and they all thought that i'm the most fantastic cook ever! haha.. wait till i open my mee goreng and cook them packets of mee gorengs. maybe then, they'll think i'm god and want to marry me. haha.. see the perks of moving overseas. it gives u the ability to cheat the rest of the world.
over the weekend, i went out clubbing. my friend and i went to this new club called Zen. it's a really sad immitation of a chinese club. with sad and ugly version of chinese words on the wall. but for most parts, it was weird cause my girl and i were the tallest girls in the club and with heels, we were towering all the philipino boys. the girls that night were skanky too. there was this girl who went up to the podium and started shaking her ass, halfway through, she lifted up her skirt and exposed her white underwear. and then, she continued to hook one of her legs to the railing and exposing her precious jewels. from what i saw, they didn't look very nice so somehow, i dunno why she was so proud of them. and she wasn't drunk either.
thomas and i finally registered for the gym next door. across the road from my house. yay yay yay. give me 3 months of treadmilling, swimming laps and playing racquetball and i'll be a lean, mean, supermodel machine. hahaha.. i'm dreaming. when i turned 18, i actually believed that overnight, i would transform into a hot babe. this time, i'm going to work out extra hard so that my 21 year old hot babe transformation dream will come true. i can't do anything about the face lah but then again, i'll try to work on everything else? i promise..
and that night, i spoke to eli and she was telling me how stressed she was because she was having her mid terms. i laughed at her and was talking all load of rubbish. it's monday night now, 1.46am to be exact and i just realize that i have my mid terms tomorrow too. marketing mid term at 8am. hmmmmmmmmm... see eli,tamade, u jinxed me!
i cannot wait for december to come. i want to go home and eat my favourite sui gao mee again.
and can somebody msg weijun to tell him that i miss him. i saw his picture on karl's friendster page and i missed that face. please, will somebody be a nice angel and do that for me??
nat |
| posted by 3 @ 7:23 PM |
|
|
|
|
|
|
| Previous Posts |
|
| Archives |
|
|
| Powered by |
 |
|
