| Friday, September 29, 2006 |
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drama troubles drama troubles drama drama drama....
why can't people act the way they're supposed to? do their jobs the way it was designed to be done? and act out the values and principles they were taught?
but then again, if everyone did try to make everyone else happy, there wouldn't be a human resource department in any organization, all lawyers will be broke and people will generally still be unhappy. since when did efficiency become inefficient?
i dunno...
nat |
| posted by 3 @ 8:09 PM |
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| Tuesday, September 26, 2006 |
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this entry is meant for you. no mincing of words, no more pretence. i'm tired of pretence. it saps away at your energy. and you, for one, are not worth the slightest ounce of my energy. i will be decent and i won't mention names, but you will know i am talking about you.
yes you. "she who thinks so highly of herself". I've got a few things to state. plainly and simply.
get it out of your head that i have any time to waste spreading stories about you and your pal. because i don't. trust me honey i'm waaay too busy for that. and if you have any question kindly direct them to me. because i'm tired of hearing from so and so about what i said and this and that. i was kind enough to even ask YOU about it, and you even replied with such a sweet msg. disguised of course as i know now.
I am sorry so sorry i ever thought you were nice. I am so sorry that I actually told a friend that you were "actually a very nice girl", and i'm so sorry that i bought into the whole "i'm so misunderstood" bullshit.
i was wrong. you are horrid. and you know why.
so let's cut the crap. you don't like me, and i obviously don't like you anymore. so save me the trouble of moving those extra muscles to acknowledge your presence. you are henceforth erased from my radar.
~mei~ |
| posted by 3 @ 2:31 AM |
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The funny thing about behavior and personality tests is how much my results changed. If you heard of the MBTI personality tests, its pretty amazing shit. Not only is it pretty accurate, theres really alot of theories behind it. and i'm fascinated. but anyways, i took it a couple of times when i was in st. theresa's and ac. I was, then, an extrovert who pretty much let things happen without much planning and i basically feel too much and let others take advantage of me. well the taking advantage part hasn't changed at all but everything else did. and i did this test 3 times within the last 8 months and my results turned out the same. Somehow, I managed to convert into an introvert, oddly enough its very true, and i seem to think alot more, am more sensible and need to have shit planned out. basically, i'm become boring and a tight ass. i'm actually quite happy though. i'm settling down and not all over the place. ha..and my personality type comprises 12% of the american population which means 1 out of 16 people. yeap yeap.. i'm special!!
was talking to my ex-roommate about her ex bestfriend last night. apparently, her ex bestfriend who is apparently pregnant by my ex-roommate's dead boyfriend got into some drama herself. she doesn't know who the father is and thinks that its the boy who passed away. but about a week ago, she lost her long time boyfriend herself. he tried to break into a house and the owner of the house shot him in the eye and 5 other places. imagine being shot in the eye? damn..
speaking of gunshots, my estate has suddenly become pretty ghetto itself. nevermind the wandering prostitues although i must admit that they are going fewer in numbers but are prettier. but within the last week, i've heard two gunshot incidents already. pretty damn nearby too. and because my table faces the window, u can look out and tell where the incident happened cause in less than 5 minutes, the ambulance will sound and you'll see them in action as well. interesting.
clubbed with thomas last night. the second time since i've been back and this time, it was just the both of us. a stark difference between clubbing with my roommates and my boyfriend. really different. i danced alot less, i drink alot less and i get annoyed pretty easily. annoyed by the lack of space, the stepping on my toes and i felt very restricted. i was so used to getting wild in orlanda. dancing like i was black and drinking like i didn't have to work the next day. the music was alot louder, alot harder, alot crunkier. more hip hop, less thrashier pussycat dollsish, alot more franchize boys and d4l.i loved it alot more and this is remotely different. i actually despised it last night. i predict that i wouldn't be clubbing for awhile.
and can i just say that i'm addicted to ebay and yoga. although both are relatively outdated but its exciting. ebay hits that competitive buying addiction and its rather thrilling when you win a bin. its stupid but i get excited when i get a new package. yoga's like ballet but alot slower and calmer.
am just sitting down downloading my songs to update my ipod. i'm contemplating whether i should purchase one of those ipod radio players. when i was driving in orlando and making those weekly 3 hour drives from orlando to west palm to see thomas, i bought an ipod car player. loved it then but can't use it anymore. so i'm thinkint very carefully. the car player cost nearly a hundred bucks and this might just be as budget breaking or even worse.
but anyways, heres what i've downloaded so far. some are a little bit older cause i'm only doing my downloading after... 8 months? haha..
enjoy.
Akon ft. Eminem - Smack That
Akon ft. Snoop Dogg - I wanna fuck you
Armin Van Buuren - A State of Trace Live @ID&T (3/3/2005)
Armin Van Buuren - Live @ Trance Energy 2006
Armin Van Buuren - Sahara
Bad Boy Bill - Stomp to the Beat
Bobby Valentino - Turn the Page
Cadilac Don - Inside Peanut Butter, Outside Jelly
Cherish - Unappreciated
Cherish ft. Jody Breeze, Yung Joc, Chingy, Fabo - Do it To It (Remix)
Cosmic Gate - Exploration of Space
D4L - Betcha Can't do it like me
Danity Kane - Hold You Down
Dem Franchize Boys - Riding' Rims
Dirty ft. Bun B - Rolie Polie
Donell Jones - I'm Gonna Be
Gabriel & Dresden - Essential Mix Live @ WMC 2006
Gucci Mane - Go Head
Justin Timberlake ft. TI- My Love
Lloyd Banks ft. 50 cent - Hands up (Remix)
Lyfe Jennings - Must be Nice
Megan Rochell ft. Fabolous - The One you need
Paul Van Dyke - Live @ Love Parade 2006
Sammie ft. Sean Paul - You Should Be My Girl
Shareefa ft. Ludacris - I need a boss (Remix)
T-Pain ft. Young Bloodz, Trick Daddy, Pitbull - I'm Sprung (Remix)
The Pack - Got my Vans on
Three 6 Mafia ft. Bow Wow - Side to side (Remix)
Young Dro ft. T.I - My Girl (Gotta Girlfriend)
nat |
| posted by 3 @ 9:00 PM |
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| Wednesday, September 20, 2006 |
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weight issues.
i'm watching the tyra banks show and her special guest is nicole richie and they're basically talking about her weight.
lets just make things very clear. this weight issue is annoying. its very simple. theres bascially three things to know. either u're just right, u're too fat or u're too skinny. there really isn't any underlying meaning you have to take 20 hours to figure it out. if u're skinny, u're skinny. if u're fat, u're fat. thats it. enough said.
and please don't give me none of that BMI and fat percentage bullshit. thats just some fancy psychological bullcrap. the mirror never lies and we all know what a normal and perfectly fine body shape looks like. no perceptions and no beauty lies in the beholder type nonsence. lets be realistic. if u look in the mirror and see a huge blob sticking out, u're fat. if your reflection shows bones and saggy skin, u're too skinny. its really as simple as that.
so if everyone is telling u that u're fat, then maybe.. well possibly,very highly likely.. u're fat. there could possibly be some people who may be jeolous of u and want to see you suffer but if 99.999% of the people u meet make a weight comment, then wake up, smell the light and realize that u probably have a problem. there really isn't any arguments to that.
nat |
| posted by 3 @ 2:20 PM |
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| Monday, September 18, 2006 |
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this came to me in the mail from nat's dad.
Dead Shock
Last month South American model Luisel Ramos died moments after stepping off the catwalk from heart failure. The 22 year old had been told by a model agency she could it make it big if she lost a significant amount of weight, and for three months she ate nothing but green leaves and drank only Diet Coke. By the time she traipsed down the cat walk at the Radisson Victoria Plaza in Montevideo, Uruguay, she had stopped eating entirely.
She was cheered and applauded by the fashionistas but collapsed two minutes after she stepped down from the catwalk.
A BMI of 18.5 or below is currently classed as underweight by the World Health Organisation.
I don't know if he forgot to attach the picture, but i will ask.
I couldn't help but let out a whoop of joy when I read in the papers a couple of days ago that a certain country (i can't remember which, anyone?) has banned severely underweight models (based on their BMI) from one of the biggest shows of the year! Finally, FINALLY people are beginning to take heed and slowly recognise what is becoming a serious epidemic amongst the youth of today. Yes, BMI may not be the best measurement because some people are truly born skinny and tall. But its a start. We all have to start somewhere and this is definitely a step in the rightest ever direction fashion could've ever taken!
Hurray!
**edit: the ban took place in Madrid, but today's Life just ran an article on how the London Fashion Week is saying no to the ban. BAH
~mei~ |
| posted by 3 @ 9:26 PM |
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| Thursday, September 14, 2006 |
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thomas went to chinatown and bought me fresh prawns. i've fallen in love with my apple pie again.. seee, i told u i was easy.
nat |
| posted by 3 @ 2:05 PM |
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| Wednesday, September 13, 2006 |
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what happens when you realize that your relationship has turned really sour?
lets just say that for the longest time, you loved apple caramel pie and after 3 years, you decided to change it to chocolate? so what happens to apple caramel? or worse, what happens if the crust of the apple caramel melted along the way and it has caved in, making the pie not only look but taste really bad, would you still want it?
i dunno. i like apple caramel alot. but i've come to a realization that along the way, there are other flavors to choose from. like chocolate mint, french vanilla and even plain old whipped cream. that at the end of the day, i don't need to be fancy. cause its expensive. and like every good thing in life, theres an expiration date. and i think my liking for apple caramel has been long overdue.
nat |
| posted by 3 @ 9:40 AM |
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| Monday, September 11, 2006 |
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All too often, people post things on the Internet and on their blogs, and they think that just because it is THEIR blog, they're automatically licensed to say whatever they wish to say. And they forget that whatever they say goes into the public domain. Sure, you are entitled to express whatever you want to express, but I what i don't respect is you not being ready for the backlash and taking the corwardly way out. its disgusting really. but i don't suppose there is a point in saying anything more because when a person is so full of herself, no one is right but her, innit?
Whether or not she made personal attacks and commented about our singing/dancing/acting abilities as she very succintly summarised, we all know. Yes, except you Woonks, coz only Woonkwong and David can sing. and our band is fucking awesome haha The rest of us ordinary folk however, cannot sing, and our acting is not all that great. and and and clar, jah and me have such terrible inadequacies!! Oh the HORROR! so how?
ALL HAIL QUEEN HUIHUA!!!
pfft. you expect me to say things to your face when you haven't even afforded us the courtesy of that? girl, forget it.
Just for the record, yes i know i cannot sing, so I apologise to friends who had to sit through those bits when I had to sing. If it helps, I did try to speed it up a lil? haha
This incident has left such a horrible bitter aftertaste, you know, the kind that you need to hack out of your throat, but no matter how hard you try, it kinda lingers around for a bit? I hope it goes away soon!
All that aside, law iv ended on a really really good note. energy levels were sky high and no major errors occurred, the gala night was the bestest show of all! and at the end of the day, the most important thing for me were the bonds that were forged over this period of seemingly endless waiting around and late night rehearsals. At so many points in time, we each got frustrated and wanted to give up, but i'm glad with stuck through with it. the musical may not have gone down well with some people, but a quick google blog search of "law iv" has seen a couple of blog entries with some very encouraging feedback. afterall, the point of the musical was to make people think about their lives right? The one thing we all should learn from this is that you really can never please everyone. :/
I do feel quite sorry that not everyone felt the same sense of belonging to this project as i did, and i suppose it is inevitable. I've been in backstage crews before, i know how it gets. But i really want to say a huge huge and very sincere thank you to the crew if you do happen to read this, for ensuring that i had paper in my files and mugs at the coffee table, a pen for my fight scene and a school bag for the bat scene. I hope it isn't too late to say this now, but you guys were important to the production and it could not have happened without you guys.
xiamianwinniejonrossdawnwoonkslianmeow i'm glad we did this. and bajing, you were the bestest audience member of all time!
~mei~ |
| posted by 3 @ 11:32 PM |
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| Sunday, September 10, 2006 |
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can i just say that i'm absolutely in love with forever21? i've always been in love with it, the one in the states not the singapore shop. for some reason, the one in wisma has really ugly clothes, i think they're very selective but in a bad way. but nonetheless, because i don't have a car here and since shopping is different without a car, i end up indulging in online shopping.. although i'm a zillions years behind time. ha.. but... www.forever21.com is heaven's sent. i love it.. absolutely... its cheap, nice and free shipping over $75..PLUS, they have new updates every single day. loveeeeee it...
nat |
| posted by 3 @ 5:20 AM |
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| Thursday, September 07, 2006 |
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I left Hawaii for 9 months. only to come back to find that one of my closest friend got married to a controlling boy she doesn't really like, is pregnant by him and have graduated. so I ask, if you had to choose between (a) marrying someone u don't really like or are very unsure of because of circumstances or (b) leave and be done with your mistake, regret that mistake (eg: abortion) and deal with it and move on with your life, which one would you choose? you're either risking everything that you could possibly be in life or live with the guilt of making one big fucked up mistake but then, have the possibility of being all that you can be again. don't misunderstand, I’m not concluding that having a baby will hinder your future, I’m talking about being with someone you don't really want to be with because of your current situation. what if, hypothetically, you end up with that person and 26 years later, you realize that he's been cheating on you all along, you've wasted all those years on him hoping that maybe, possibly love could grow on your part and maybe he might see the goodness in you. But what if that never happened and you realized that it all comes back full circle and you're left with nothing. so then I ask again, if you knew that there is that possibility, would you keep hanging on because of the circumstances that u're in or would you drop it right there, live with the mistake but move on?
I apologize to all those whom I didn't contact while I was home. I was in that retreat mode. Leaving Orlando and preparing to return to Hawaii, I really just wanted to chill. I wasn't ready to socialize, to say hi and smile, I wasn't ready for any judgment or comments. My self esteem was low, physical appearance was appalling and I just wasn't in the mood. I promise I will do better the next time.
I’m glad that I rekindled my passion for reading all over again. When I was younger, I used to read a lot. Judy blume, sweet valley high and all sorts of girly romantic books. when you'll eventually meet this hot white boy who will capture your heart the moment you lay your eyes on him, sweep you off your feet and you'll live happily every after. hahaa.. I still read girly books. the devil wears prada kind of books. books that I can somehow relate to. my form of escapism but I’m beginning to think that it’s slowly transforming itself into an obsession. but nonetheless, I’m happy I found something constructive to do.
returning to Hawaii wasn't all that quizzical. I expected so much more. Maybe because I had too much going on in my head. When I landed, it was like I was suddenly so driven to do everything and anything under the sun. I had to finish my house, moving in, cleaning up, killing all the millions and millions of cockroaches that were laying eggs everywhere, settle all my school and money problems. But it all turned out well. Finally slowed down, clubbed a little over the weekend, took one look at the sunset and I’m sold. All over again. Hawaii’s beautiful.
Thomas is starting his own T-Shirt business. He opened a t-shirt printing shop in Orlando with his brother, managed to follow through with the whole legal paperwork and moved right back. He’s concentrating on the designs right now. Quite exciting. Very refreshing because he finally found something that he’s passionate about and in all honesty, is quite good at it. He can’t draw for shit but his designs are creative and different. I might be very rich some day. Maybe he’ll be the new Ralph Lauren, the black version. But still…
Hope everyone's doing good. GO support Mei at her play and be nice to eli.
bye.
Nat |
| posted by 3 @ 10:57 AM |
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| Sunday, September 03, 2006 |
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The preview show went well thankfully. We greatly feared that we wouldn't have an audience because people generally seemed very averse to watching a preview show. Not that the turnout was fantastic though, but it was acceptable i guess! haha
The best thing about doing productions is that you will go through months of hell. Of bitching and backstabbing. Of politics and stepping on each other's toes. But at the end of it, is a finished product derived from every single person's effort. only those who stick it through long enough will be there to witness it. and during that one final curtain call, a little sigh will go off in (most) people's heads, and they will (hopefully) think to themselves,
"well that was all worth it!"
i know it did in my head.
the other thing in my head that refuses to go away? "whoooo I want to beee.." haha
mei |
| posted by 3 @ 6:18 PM |
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